In the spirit of this piece (sharing poems that might be useful entry points into conversations about white supremacy) and this piece (sharing poems reckoning with #MeToo, consent, and rape culture), I wanted to pull together some poems/videos, links, and resources for people looking to start more conversations about the relationship between violence (whether that’s interpersonal/domestic violence, mass shootings, and beyond) and masculinity.
Because as the left focuses on gun control, and the right (disingenuously) focuses on mental health services, I think it’s worth considering that there’s something deeper going on. It’s also worth considering that just because that “something” is a more complex problem than a single policy can fix, that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing we can do about it.
Reading Up: Articles and Essays
To find solutions, we first have to acknowledge the problem: there is something about the way we teach boys to be men (especially in a white, western, capitalist context) that encourages violence. When we only understand masculinity through the lenses of power, control, strength, and dominance, when our pop culture heroes are so often men (and so often violent men), when our views of “what it means to be a man” are shaped by racism and colonialism– this all helps create a culture in which violence can be committed, normalized, and even rationalized, again and again. More:
- Don’t Blame Mental Illness for Mass Shootings; Blame Men (Politico)
- Men Are Responsible for Mass Shootings (Harper’s Bazaar)
- Boys To Men: Masculinity And The Next Mass Shooting (1A)
- We will never address gun violence if we don’t address the root of the problem: masculinity (Feminist Current)
- The Boys Are Not All Right (NYT)
- Toxic white masculinity: The killer that haunts American life (Salon)
- When We Talk About Police Shootings, We Need to Talk About Gender (Feministing)
- Who Are The Majority Of Mass Shooters In The U.S.? (AJ+)
- nayyirah waheed (from salt.)
- This is the only poem on this list that isn’t a video, but it’s such a perfect entry point, one that sums up this issue elegantly and precisely.
- Rudy Francisco: The Heart and the Fist
- This is a newer poem that powerfully makes the connection between gun violence and masculinity. This poem doesn’t just make that connection, though; it challenges us to see both why that connection exists and why it doesn’t have to. The link includes both the video and some further thoughts/analysis from me on the poem. (More classroom-friendly version here)
- FreeQuency: Masculinity So Fragile
- This is full of great lines, but also some incredibly insightful analysis.
- Elizabeth Acevedo: I use my poetry to confront the violence against women
- This is a TEDx Talk, but includes multiple short poems. When the national conversation focuses on masculinity and mass shootings, it’s important to keep a broader view of what “violence” means. It isn’t always headline-grabbing. It isn’t always reported. This conception of masculinity hurts people– especially women, trans people and gender-nonconforming people– every day.
- Guante: Handshakes and Ten Responses to the Phrase “Man Up”
- I’m including both of these poems of mine here because they’re both explicitly about how so-called “little things” (habits, word choices, small actions, etc.) both shape and are shaped by the larger culture. Especially when we think about masculinity– our socialization starts so early, and is so insidious because those “little things,” if we don’t think critically about them, are so easy to never even understand as harmful.
- Guante (NEW!): The Art of Taking the L
- A poem, but also a link with a bunch MORE resources.
- Donte Collins: Genderlect
- This is a great exploration of how the positive things we’re taught to think about men are so often rooted in the negative things we’re taught to think about women. Violence can take many forms– mass shootings, domestic abuse, sexual assault, any beyond– but it often starts in the same place
- Sam Rush, Kwene, & Oompa of House Slam: My Masculinity
- This piece could be a good introduction to talking about masculinity as a social construct, as opposed to something that is inherently/inextricably “male.”
- Javon Johnson: Baby Brother
- The connection between masculinity and violence includes more than just mass shootings. It’s about the violence we inflict on the people to whom we are closest, regardless of gender. It’s also about the violence we inflict on ourselves.
- Alex Luu & Jessica Romoff: Masculinity
- Like the previous poem, this piece explores the issue of masculinity’s connection to violence through family relationships– in this case, a father’s effect on his household.
“What we do” about this is a big question, and will shift depending on who we are, where we are, and what kinds of resources and audiences we have access to. So while “having a conversation” is not the only work to be done, it is an important starting point, and I hope the links and poems above can be useful. What follows are some examples of where people are taking this work:
- adrienne maree brown: relinquishing the patriarchy (these are all good, but this one is REALLY GOOD)
- Jackson Katz: Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue
- Tony Porter: A Call to Men
- Cowboy Up (A Call to Men)
- Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity
- Ted Bunch: Why We Miss The Point When We Call Masculinity “Toxic” (Refinery29)
- Eric Mata: Against Me(n)
- Brenda Tracy’s “Set the Expectation” Project
- Fox Valley Voices of Men: 11 Things Men Can Do (each point opens up a list of other resources)
- Teaching Positive Masculinity (The Atlantic)
- Men Can Stop Rape’s Healthy Masculinity Action Project
- The Mask You Live In documentary is available now
- Boys to Men: Teaching and Learning About Masculinity in an Age of Change (Lesson Plan via NYT)
- A few books (though there are many more):
- Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics (bell hooks)
- The Man They Wanted Me to Be (Jared Yates Sexton)
- Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture (Roxane Gay)
- Man Up: Reimagining Manhood: Carlos Andrés Gómez
- The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love (bell hooks)
Thanks for sharing this!
Many thanks for sharing these resources. We as a nation desperately need more outspoken, confident men such as yourself speaking out on this and related issues. We at Young Men's Nation are always on the lookout for new ways to start this conversation in our after school programs and clubs. Please continue to update this list of resources. Do what's right. Success will follow. Matt
Thank you for compiling this. I hope it continues to grow and create space for dialogue and change. Below are a few more resources.\”American Male\” short filmhttps://youtu.be/zJ-Pyhk7GQAMelissa A. Fabello's \”Men & the Media\”https://youtu.be/JMqNlT1PqdYTED Talk: Colin Stokes's \”How Movies Teach Manhood\”https://youtu.be/ueOqYebVhtc